A flourishing marriage begins with an ever-flourishing individual. In Valuable Decorations for Your Marriage, Dr. Francis Ngulefac explains that personal development is important not just for oneself but for a happy, lasting relationship. With each partner pursuing interior growth—emotionally, spiritually, and mentally—marriage grows by itself. As you grow in being patient, becoming self-aware, and practicing compassion, you bring the best self into the marriage. This inspires the spouse to do the same.
Growth does not have to be a solo journey; it’s supposed to be a shared one especially in a marriage. Here are ways to consciously and actively engage in personal growth journeys together.
Why Personal Growth Matters
Any feeling of being stuck makes one feel heavy in marriage, be it spiritually, emotionally, or mentally. Unresolved personal battles will quietly erode connection and happiness. In Valuable Decorations for Your Marriage, Dr. Ngulefac narrates about a story of a wife who felt severely unfulfilled in her marriage, until she finally decided to take up Bible study.
That personal change not only birthed peace for her but also inspired her husband to walk with her. They’ve developed a closer fellowship with God and with each other. Personal growth, as 2 Peter 3:18 encourages, will always foster marital peace and joy.
Signs of Stagnation
Do you ever feel trapped in emotional boredom, resentment, or feel disconnected in your own marriage? Are you finding yourself avoiding meaningful conversations or slipping into bored, lifeless routines? These are often signs that personal growth needs to happen. Dr. Francis Ngulefac explains in Valuable Decorations for Your Marriage that lack of progress causes emotional imbalance, slowly draining joy and intimacy from a relationship.
Good news? You don’t need big changes; small, conscious steps, like journaling, reading the Scriptures, participating in a Bible study, or developing a new skill, can inject freshness into both you and your marriage. Growth is not selfish; rather, it is an investment and a lovely gift to your union.
Ideas for Growth as a Couple
Try these practical and powerful steps from Valuable Decorations for Your Marriage:
- Spiritual Growth: Read a Christian book together—starting with Dr. Ngulefac—and select one insight each week for discussion. Sharing your spiritual insights with your partner, creates deeper ties and a sense of shared values.
- Emotional Growth: Journal how you feel and what you think a couple of times per week and then choose one entry to share with your spouse. This will allow you to be emotionally vulnerable with one another and fosters trust that leads to a deeper understanding.
- Intellectual Growth: Take a class together—be it for cooking, finance, or something new and fun. Learning together generates new conversations and shared experiences.
One of the couple’s that were coached by Dr. Ngulefac, established praying together, and their communication and oneness felt transformed as a result.
The HaSMaR Better Together program by Dr. Ngulefac provides couples with a systematic coaching method to develop the skills in maintaining transformation as a routine and rewarding process.
Marriage becomes more robust, alive, and resilient when both partners are committed to becoming their best selves. Truly, growth is a gift we give to each other.
A Journal Prompt to Start
This evening, take a moment of silence and write this simple sentence: “One way I want to grow is to…” Be real and intentional about it. Then, share that sentence with your spouse and ask for their support in your journey. This small but powerful act, about which you will read in the Valuable Decorations for Your Marriage book, grows vulnerability, trust, and teamwork. It enables a means to create an atmosphere within which love can flourish, and challenges can be faced shoulder to shoulder when both partners agree to grow.
Dr. Francis Ngulefac reminds us: “We Are Better Together- Because We Become Richer, Safer, Warmer, and Stronger.” Growth is not merely for an individual’s improvement: it strengthens the bond, enriches the connection and builds a marriage that lasts. Call to action: Take the next step, grow yourself, and grow your marriage. Join the HaSMaR Better Together program for faith-based coaching and support. Get your copy of Valuable Decorations for Your Marriage to access today’s powerful growth tools.