Do you really know your spouse’s heart today? Have you ever had that conversation with your spouse apart from the daily mundane routine conversations? Do you feel that you never know what is happening in your spouse’s life recently?
In Valuable Decorations for Your Marriage, Dr. Francis Ngulefac reveals that understanding your partner is the key to a delightful marriage. Taking time out every day to talk and listen to your partner works magic in fixing broken or eroding relationships.
Life’s busyness can create distance, couples often get so busy with their worldly responsibilities that they forget that their partners need that quality time and attention as well. Life often comes in between wonderful relationships and creates distance. Just know that it’s never too late, all you need to do is take out time and add a few intentional questions that can bring you closer to your spouse.
Here’s how to rediscover your spouse.
Signs of Emotional Disconnect
There are a lot of things that you probably do in your everyday life that could be clear signs of a slowly eroding bond. But it goes unnoticed because couple’s become so mentally occupied by their busy lives, that its part of their routine now.
If you’re finishing each other’s sentences, you know what your partner is talking about or what they are about to say next. But you are missing their deeper feelings, you are unable to read between the lines, then it’s a sign that you might be disconnected. Other signs include assuming things about your partner without having a proper conversations, without asking them if they are okay, or if there is something they need.
1 Peter 3:7 calls husbands to “live with your wives in an understanding way,” a principle Dr. Ngulefac extends to both spouses. This means to try and understand each other, even if it seems too complicated, sit down and have proper conversations till there is a mutual understanding between each other.
The Power of Asking
Dr. Ngulefac’s book is a treasure trove of thoughtful questions to ask within the couple in order to create ties and deepen emotional intimacy. One example from Valuable Decorations for Your Marriage highlights Tom and Emily, a couple he coached. Tom and Emily, by using Dr. Ngulefac’s coaching, took that advice and began asking each other deeper, more intentional questions after feeling like simply going through the motions of their relationship, for as long as they could remember.
One night, Tom asked Emily, “What’s one dream you’ve never shared with me?” This simple question opened the door to deep conversation and, eventually, a new adventure they could embark on together. But that moment reignited the emotional spark in their marriage and reminded them of their joint journey.
Such questions, which one’s partner asks, show the real concern by a partner. It builds trust and nurtures vulnerability, thus creating space for a deeper and much more lasting bond between individuals.
Five Conversation Starters
Try these tonight, drawn from Valuable Decorations for Your Marriage:
- What’s something you’re proud of this week?
- What’s a fear you’re carrying right now?
- How can I make you feel more loved?
- What’s a memory that makes you smile?
- What’s one thing you’d love us to do together?
Listen without interrupting, and share your answers too. These moments create a safe space for vulnerability.
Keep Growing Closer
Connection isn’t a one-time fix—it’s a habit. Schedule a weekly “heart check” to ask deeper questions. Dr. Ngulefac’s tools at Dr. Francis Ngulefac help sustain this intimacy, ensuring your marriage stays joyful. “We Are Better Together—Because We Become Richer, Safer, Warmer, And Stronger.”
CTA: Want to know your spouse better? Sign up for weekly marriage tips at Dr. Francis Ngulefac and get Valuable Decorations for Your Marriage for more connection tools.